new update on information on Anna's funeral

Anna has been cremated and will go to be in the drawer next to my dad at the Woodbridge Memorial Gardens in Woodbridge, N.J. We will be having a service for her at the chapel at 11:30. Do not be late or you will miss it. They informed us that we only get a half hour in the chapel. If you want to get up and speak, please make it short so others have a chance. Please let me know if you want to speak so I can plan how many.. If you want to speak please come about 15 minutes early so we can plan it. If you have any questions you can call me. Thank you and see you on Saturday April 15 at 11:30 am We will be going to De Italia's following the ceremony. Here is the information for Woodbridge Memorial Gardens: U.S. Highway No. 1, Woodbridge, NJ, 07095 Here is a link http://www.burialplanning.com/cemeteries/beth-israel-cemetery/woodbridge-memorial-gardens/ Another request.. please no flowers. there will be no place to put them.. if you want to do something but you don't have to do anything but show up instead of flowers you can donate in Anna's name to the hospice organization that took care of her at the end of her life here on earth.. the link below is how to get to the website to donate.. thank you http://www.allinahealth.org/Medical-Services/Chronic-and-advanced-illness/Hospice/Allina-Health-Hospice-Foundation

March 18

Most of you have already heard that Anna has past away. I sat with her as she took her last breath. I have to say that I felt I lost her about a week ago when she declined in a big way. She couldn't talk anymore, she got weaker and weaker every day. She was sleeping all the time and when she woke up she was not seeing us. She was looking somewhere else. I felt she was half in this world and half in her new world. Her body was broken and she has left her body. When the funeral parlor came to pick up her body, I looked at it like she was not in there. It is just a body she lived in. I actually felt relieved for her that she was not suffering anymore. I have watched her suffer for the past two months. There was nothing I could do to make her better. She kept getting worse and worse. Everyone that met her said she was such a sweet lady. I am happy that a year ago we went to Florida and went to the family reunion. She got to see her cousins that she has not seen in years, and all the family members that were there in Florida. Last summer we went to Long Beach Island and saw lots of cousins and her sisters, Debbie and Amy and Travis, and Russ's family and all the little ones. This year, just recently, on Feb. 5th she turned 90 years old. My plan to have everyone call her worked out perfect. She was so happy! It was a party right here in her house. She got calls all day from so many people. It made her so happy! I got her a t shirt that said "It took me 90 years to get this perfect and awesome". She loved that shirt!I made her wear a birthday party hat and she wore it all day! The weather recently got warm for a short time period before winter came back and she got to sit out in the porch one more time. We had a heater out there for her. Shortly after that she started getting sicker and sicker every day. It was so sad and hard to watch her suffer like that! We had so many people coming and caring for her. A few minutes after she passed away Russ noticed the sun coming out. He said the clouds in the sky opened up and the sun popped out! My dad always wanted to live till he was 90 and my mom accomplished his wish. She died on the 18th which was the number of his birthday. His birthday was August 18th. I really believe they are together again dancing and she is out of her pain. I will miss her but I am happy for her that she is out of that body that was not working anymore! I will post one more time with details about the funeral but the plan is April 15th 11am at Woodbridge memorial gardens. Pencil that date and time in and I will post the final details soon. thank you to everyone for all your kind words, prayers, and support!

March 16 Anna update

This will be a quick one. She is asleep most of the day. She wakes up about every 4 hours, very restless, trying to get up but can't. They move her around into a new position. I got a web cam so I can watch her on my phone. Its in her room and I can see her right now sleeping. I put lavender in her diffuser to make her relax. Today we put on a cooking show for her to listen to. The people who do this all the time that are coming in to take care of her tell me that she can hear. I am telling her all the messages you are all telling me to tell her. She has no response. I keep doing it because I guess even though her organs are shutting down the brain can still hear. Our dog can sense the stress in this house. When she passes away, I will make phone calls. I will not post it on here until family has been told. After that I will put it on here to let everyone else that has been reading this because I can't make that many phone calls. So family will get a phone call and then everyone else can read it on here. When it happens, be happy for her because she will be out of her misery. Her body is not doing her any good anymore. Dad and Mom will be together again soon. I will post again tomorrow.

update march 15

I feel much better that I got a day away from the stress, sadness, anxiety, etc. I have to say that I have had so many gifts from God. People showing up and offering their help, knowing I have no family here . They have done it out of the goodness of their hearts. I got to sleep 2 nights in a row while people came and sat with her. I am just taking it day by day. I just hired an agency to watch her 24 hours. I just can't do it anymore. Someone will come day hours and someone will stay overnight. Every day she changes so much. Last night she just was holding my hands and looking at me so sad with her eyes half open. She has a very weak voice now. She can't talk on the phone anymore and really doesn't have a reaction at all when I play the voicemails. I am not sure what she is getting. I feel she is half here now and half in another world. I have been crying a lot and also happy for her that she is going to leave this body and be out of misery. I feel good that I did everything I could for her and made her last years of her life happy. She loved it here and always thanked us for taking her in. On thanksgiving we would go around the table and say what we were thankful for and she would always say I am thankful for you for taking me in. She would say that she is so happy here. She loved looking at the lake. I also have to give a shout out to my husband , Russ. What a guy taking in his mother in law! It wasn't always easy but it just makes me love him more for what he did for my mom! I have no regrets.

March 14 Anna updates

Yesterday was a tough day. She really declined. She didn't recognize some people. She keeps asking me what happened to me last night? She is confused about a lot of things. It was hard because someone has to be in the room with her all the time. She sleeps and then starts getting restless and tries to get up. She is too weak to get up by herself. I played all the voicemails that were sent to her phone for her to hear. She was listening. She talks really low and weak so she can't talk on the phone anymore. She keeps asking for ginger ale. That is all she wants lately. I am completely exhausted and this is the point where she really should go into a care center/nursing hospice center of some kind .. I can not do that to her. She always said I don't want to go in a nursing home or a hospital. I want to die at home here. I am honoring her wishes by not doing that. It is really hard because I will have to sleep in the room with her because she keeps getting restless and trying to get out of bed.. She is too weak to get up herself.. I have a friend who is a home health care aid. She slept over last night in her room and took care of her all night while I got to sleep. The last few nights I couldn't sleep because she kept calling me. I have two people coming over today to take care of her while I go to work. Tonight I will have to stay in her room. She can't stay over tonight. If I have someone coming every day to help I can get a break. It is too much for one person to do their self. I have to get ready for work now. I will continue to keep everyone updated.

March 12 Anna updates

Today was a bad day for all of us. Anna had a tough day. She was not feeling good. Nausea even though she had the medicine for it. We tried a second medicine but not eating all day. She was having seizures all day. It was tough for all of us to see that, to watch her suffer, it got to a point where she was having them about 2 minutes apart or even less. Patrick and Brianna were by her side all day. Right before Pat had to leave for the airport it got really bad. I called the nurse and they told me to use another medicine and that one stopped the seizures. A nurse came to see her and gave her another medicine and gave us a new plan to help her sleep. Also to help the seizures stop and the nausea stop. I just went to check on her and she was breathing real heavy, mentally confused. She is declining so fast. I wish I could say something positive but at this point the only positive thing would be for God to take her out of this body that is broken . Free her from her pain and suffering. Thank you all for calling her, she was happy getting so much love from everyone in her life. She got many people face timing her this weekend so that made her happy. She was happy to have Patrick and Brianna and me and Russ by her side most of the day today. this weekend Patrick sang songs to her, Brianna massaged her feet, cried with her, laughed. As the weekend went by it got sadder and sadder. I will update you tomorrow on how things are going tomorrow. I will go and check her in a couple of hours and give her some more of that medicine. Good night

friday march 10th

Anna is not having a good day.. She woke up not feeling that great and tried to eat. Breakfast consists of 2 slices of a banana, a couple sips of tea, I gave her ice water with pedialite in it to sip. Lunch we thought was good, she ate a small container of apple sauce. She and I both couldn't believe she ate the whole thing. She doesn't eat a lot of food so that was a lot.. After lunch she started throwing everything up. She is not feeling good today. Looks weak. I am finding that there are so many good people in this world. When you have something bad like this happening there are so many people who appear to help you. I had someone who I haven't seen in 10 years contact me to tell me that she went through a similar thing with her mom and she will be there for me to talk to and if I want she will come and sit with my mom so I can go out of the house. Julie who comes here with my mom a lot called and said I will come over today to be with your mom and just give you a break. We had the chaplain from hospice come to talk to my mom and me. My mom was getting sick the whole time she was there so I sat and talked to her. It was nice. She was easy to talk with. She will come back next week to talk to Anna. I also had one of my clients who has become a friend too offer to come sit with my mom so I can get a break. I have had friends sending her cards, flowers. It is good during bad times to notice the good things too and I have had a lot of good gifts! So many people love my mom. One woman that comes here told me that she just loves my mom and she just warms her heart! She is looking forward to my son Patrick coming to visit . He makes her laugh and makes up songs to sing to her. Hopefully she will be smiling a lot tomorrow..

Wednesday March 8th

Feeling so stressed today. Scheduling people coming here, taking care of Anna, watching her not getting better.Its really hard. Morning: Today she had a couple of sips of coffee with the chocolate ensure it in. A couple of bites of banana with some cereal. Had her nausea pill. The body care woman from hospice came and massaged her feet and cut her toenails. She was very nice. I took our dog to the vet while she was here. Lunch: It is so hard to think of things to give her. I thought of macaroni and cheese. I started making it, gave her the nausea pill to swallow. Immediately after swallowing the pill she started vomiting. She couldn't eat anything, went back in her room with some ginger ale and ice. After all this is happening , I realize I never took any of my pills and realized I have to go sit upstairs to focus on what else I was suppose to do today for my life. I am so consumed with what I should do for her, I am forgetting things I am suppose to do. Mediation really helps me feel better. Some of you have mentioned things to her that I am writing on here. She doesn't see these blogs. I am just doing this for everyone to know where she is at. I am thinking I should go to the store and buy her some pedialite, and maybe baby formula for nutrition. I was talking to my cousins Patty and Michele yesterday and Michele suggested pedialite. I haven't had a chance yet but maybe I will go out today and try that. She doesn't really like the taste of ensure. My friend Julie suggested crushing ice with the ensure to make it like a slushy . I might try that this afternoon. I don't know what else to do. She thinks of things she wants to eat and then as soon as she goes to put them in her mouth , the taste and smell make her sick and she can't eat it,when she does eat it is so little amount, about a teaspoon. I feel so bad for her. I think I might go take a bath. I am sorry these blogs are so sad but its our reality here.. I will tell a funny story if I can but not now. positive note: Patrick is coming and she is looking forward to that! I wish we lived closer so other relatives could come and visit. Anyone who wants to come is welcome to come here and stay... Let me know if anyone of you reading this would like my phone number.

picture of Anna

Who knew beer is the only thing that doesn't make her sick when she drinks it.. Yesterday we tried cooked apples with cinnamon and sugar. I found those ginger candies and she likes them. Today Julie is coming while I am at work and she is going to make dog treats.. Anna always made those for our dog "Jersey". Julie will make them and Anna will do the cookie cutter part while sitting in the kitchen with Julie. I came up with an idea to put the ensure drink in her coffee so she can get some nutrition. It is chocolate flavor and we added vanilla cream for coffee. She said she liked it. She felt like trying coffee today so hopefully this will all stay down. Breakfast was some jello and cinnamon apples. I will maybe write later to keep you all informed. Hopefully you are all liking these updates.. It helps me to write. If anyone would want to give her a call, she would like that.

Monday, March 6

Anna looked good most of the day. Julie came over and cleaned out her closet and organized it for her. I am so lucky to have Julie who cares so much for my mom. I can go to work, or any appointments I have and not have to worry. I know that I can completely trust that Julie would take care of her like I do. They laugh and talk and my mom really likes her too! I also have some others that have helped too. I have made some good friends here and everyone is so nice and caring towards my mom. The hospice team will be calling me and starting to come on a regular basis. I went to the store and found ginger candy for Anna. I also have been trying lavender oil on her stomach. I am trying everything. Patrick called her today and that made her happy. He is coming to visit her and us this weekend. He always makes her laugh. Hopefully she won't be too sick to enjoy him this weekend! Keep the phone calls coming. It makes her happy to hear from friends and relatives.

Sunday March 5, 2017

I was just about to sit down and write how good Anna is doing today. Last night I made my homemade pizza and of course we had some beer with it. My mom smiled and looked at me and said "You know, I feel like having some beer!" I said, "Ok I will get you some." She was so happy because everything she eats does not taste good and she drank that whole glass ( it was a small juice size glass) but she finished the whole thing and was so happy because it taste really good and nothing else tastes good to her anymore. I asked her if she wanted more and she said yes. I gave her a small bite size piece of pizza and she finished that too! This morning she woke up and said I feel like having pancakes and eggs. Ok I started cooking..We are having beautiful weather here so I got her to sit outside in the porch. She looked good, got some phone calls, sounded good. She is craving watermelon and cantaloupe and pineapple. I will be going to the store today for that. Things were going good and all of a sudden she told me she feels sick... She started throwing up all her food... Instead of good days and bad days I think we are having good hours and bad hours. Here is a picture of her today sitting on the porch

Daily Anna Updates

I created this blog to keep everyone up to date on my mom , Anna. I always called her Anna banana when I was a kid and thought it was so funny, she always laughed when I did that. I will update you on her condition and try to share some funny stories also. Here we are in the days in the life of Anna banana: I will begin with a summary of where we are so far and how we got there. Anna has had this overactive parathyroid for years now. She has been taking medicine to keep the levels down. When your parathyroid is overactive you usually would get surgery to have it removed but her heart was not good enough to survive the surgery 5 years ago, and it has got worse. If you google parathyroid disease you will see all the symptoms. Her symptoms have continued to get worse in the last couple of months. She has not been able to keep food down. First about a month ago she could not even keep a sip of water down and that is when I took her to the hospital the first time. She was dehydrated and her calcium levels were up to 15, the doctor said that was coma level, they rehydrated her and gave her drugs to lower the calcium and it dropped to 10.8 and she felt a lot better for one day. We were home one day and her levels went up to 13.8 and she started throwing up again. I took her back to the hospital because she could not keep anything down, even a sip of water. The second time she was admitted, her potassium was dangerously low so she had to have meds to bring that back up. When we got home after that and she started throwing up again, she told me she does not want to go back to the hospital. We had a discussion and she knows her body is not working and she is ready for her soul to go to heaven and be with my dad. It is so sad to watch her decline. I am very empathetic, so when she is sick, I feel sick. I am now a 24 hour nurse. I always thought and wished when the time came that it wouldn't be here, I didn't want to find her dead. Her wish is just the opposite and it is not about me. This is her life and her wish is to die here in our home where she is comfortable and peaceful. I have to put my big girl panties on and honor her wishes. Brianna lives with us and she is suffering , as I am, watching her suffer. She always said that she wanted to live long enough to go to Brianna's wedding. She looked at Brianna and said "Oh Brianna, your wedding...I came up with an idea. I told her that I constantly see signs from my dad that he is here watching us. I asked her to show me a sign when she is gone. I asked her what she wants to do.. She said she wants to be a blue bird. I said ok when I see a blue bird I will know that is a sign from her that she is happy and not sick anymore and with my dad and everyone else who is in heaven. I also said when Brianna gets married and we see a blue bird we will know that she is watching us and watching Brianna get married. She smiled, the three of us laughed and cried that day. So far I have noticed she has a good day and then a bad day.. She is taking anti nausea medicine and some days it works and some days it doesn't. Yesterday was a bad day so I am hoping today is going to be a good day. It is 3:00 and so far she has not thrown up. She wakes up every day with a different craving for food. I make sure she gets whatever she is craving but when she gets it she usually doesn't eat it or eats only a small amount.The amount of food she eats is about a teaspoon of jello or two tiny bites of a cracker. The hospice evaluator came over today and she got approved for hospice. They will be sending nurses over, and they do all kinds of services for her which will take some of the pressure off of me too. If they see she needs her medicine changed they will order it go get it and bring it to us..All those phone calls and running back and forth to doctors and stores, pharmacies,etc. is what all adds up to more and more stress. A friend of mine who is a hospice nurse told me hospice not only helps the patient, it also helps the caretaker. I think that is enough information for one day. I will be posting updates daily. Follow my blog to keep up with the days in the life of Anna banana.